Flashback Friday! Slip, slippin' away...

It's been a long time since I've posted a "Flashback Friday" post, and I just could not deprive my loyal readers (all 5 of them) of another Friday without a Flashback. And since you, my friends, have stuck with me through every Flashback and hideous photo that I have posted, I have decided to share a real juicy tale from the past. Oh yes. To this day, I blush of the mere thought of this little incident. And may I just take a moment to give warning, a heads up if you will...the following content will probably disgust the male species and will make my mom cower with shame. I don't believe I have too many male species that read my blog, but I have been stopped in church a time and two by some of the husbands of my readers. "Hey, I've read your blog! It's funny!" they say. Then I think to myself, "Oh my word, I've written the word "b*&b" on my blog!" In my defense, it's life people! I'm not perfect! I have flaws! Many of them!

The year was 1989. The summer of '89, to be exact. I was sixteen years old and was too cool for school. I had finally managed to train my bangs to reach the maximum height of 4 inches above my scalp and my acid washed jeans were the epitome of hot fashion. The days were spent, hanging out with friends, dances at Tony's Pizza, and sunbathing with Crisco slathered all over my body. Extra crispy Jen, anyone? (It was one of my friend's genius ideas to tan with Crisco. I believe she's had 2 face lifts now...)

On one particular day, me, my friend Jenny and my best friend Christal were going to hike up to the falls, and meet some boys from Riverton, Wyoming. We had planned every single detail of the day's events. Pop, check. Doritos, check. Cookies, check. Tunes, check. Fashionable swimming attire, check.

Me, Jenny, and Christal began our 2 mile journey up to the falls. I was sure to bring my "boom box" and my mixed tapes that I had spent countless hours recording. My mixed tapes were sure to get the party started with tunes from INXS, Madonna, and Depeche Mode. The three of us were hot, and we knew it. We knew that the boys from Riverton, would not be able to resist our sultry feminine ways.

As we hiked up the rocky trail, we laughed, we gossiped, and we sang along to Madonna's Cherish and INXS's Devil Inside. It was going to be a blast and my stomach was full of butterflies, anticipating our "swimming date" with the three hot guys from Riverton.

After an hour or so, we arrived to the falls, to find that the guys had not arrived yet. We were hot and sweaty from the hike and decided to take a quick dip in the pool of cool water. We each slowly stepped further into the middle of the pool, hyperventilating from the frigid cold. With each step, the water level raised higher and higher up our bodies and we shivered uncontrollably. But soon the cool water, became refreshing from the summer heat, and it wasn't too long before a friendly water fight began between the three of us.

Me and my friend Jenny were huddled together in the middle of the pool, chattering about the cute boys we were meeting. "Paul is so hot! You should see his brother David!" "Tee, hee, hee, hee!" we giggled with excitement.

Just then something interrupted our girly banter, and something caught Jenny off guard. "What's that?" she squealed.

At first, I wasn't sure what the suspicious white form was, that was floating on top of the water. It was thin and rectangular, in shape. "What is that?" I thought to myself, as the suspicious object began floating towards us.

"Oh. My. Holy. Hannah!" I thought. I had forgotten that I was wearing a certain "feminine hygiene product" and there it was... bobbing along the top of the water. Yes, it's true. My Stayfree product managed to "free" it's self.

Then the following events, all collided into one horrific scene. Jenny realized what the rectangular object was and screamed at the top of her lungs. In a wave a confusion, she tried with all of her might to sprint away from the ghastly floating device. (and who knew that those suckers, are so buoyant?) As she was screaming in terror, the three hot guys showed up. Yup, perfect timing guys! With one swift and highly skilled movement, I lunged for the "escapee Stayfree product", and launched it across the entire length of the pool of water. It landed amongst the shrubbery and trees in the nearby wilderness. "Eat your heart out Joe Montanna!" My arm had never thrown an object with such distance before.

"What was that?" Paul asked. The three of us girls giggled, uncontrollably. "Oh it was nothing," I said, trying to act nonchalantly. "Whatever!" he yelled. "I'm going to check it out!"

"Nooooooooooo!" I screamed.

Paul began to make a mad dash towards my elusive feminine hygiene product. It was on! I began to swim with all of my might. I felt as if I had the advantage, because Paul had to climb over shrubs and rocks to get to the other side of the pool. But he was proving to be a strong competitor. We were in a dead heat and I knew I had to reach the flotation device, before he did.

Beating him by a mere second, I snatched the product and tossed it further into the wilderness. Right at that moment, Paul tackled me. "What is it?" he yelled. "What is it?!"

"It's nothing!" I pleaded. I knew my reputation was at stake here. The last thing I needed to happen was to have Paul and the other two guys tell everyone, that my Stayfree product broke away from it's confines and that I launched it 300 yards into the shrubs.

I became desperate, and began to tear up. Paul looked into my eyes and knew that this was a sensitive situation and that he shouldn't pursue it any longer. "Okay," he calmly said. "Don't worry, I won't go after it."

"Thank you," I said, weepily.

After a half hour or so, all was forgotten (except when me, Jenny, and Christal would glimpse at each other and burst into laughter) and the day ended up being fun. We made lasting friendships and thanks to my poorly, secured, feminine hygiene product, another humiliating experience to reminisce and laugh about.

And Then He Kissed Me! Part 7

It was moving day for me. I was living the life! I was in love and had just signed my lease for a cute 1 bedroom apartment with vaulted ceilings. Even better, it was located across the street from a mall and movie theaters! I was on top of the world and felt very Mary Tyler Moore like! Awwwww love! Awwwww being a young independent woman! I am woman, hear me roar!


"Plumber guy's" birthday was also the same day of moving day and after moving me in to my new digs, we were going to celebrate his birthday at his home with his family. Besides having the stress of moving into my very own apartment, I had the stress of what to give the man of my dreams for his birthday. Do I give him something sentimental? Something practical? Or do I just give him a card? This was a tough decision and I wanted to make a good impression on him. I wanted to give him something that he would remember forever!


It was a hot sticky day and I spent most of it hiking up and down 3 flights of stairs, moving in boxes of my stuff. Time was running out before my "plumber guy" was coming over to help me move my furniture and heavy items. Heavy items that only he could hoist with his strong toned body, and I still didn't have his gift.


"Well I will just have to hurry and buy him something before I go to his birthday party," I thought to myself.


"Plumber guy" arrived with his younger, but taller brother Larry and his trusty, but rusty 1970-ish Chevy truck. "Plumber guy" was in a rush and we sped off to my old apartment and with in minutes, my manly man and his brother threw my stuff into the bed of the truck and managed to carry my furniture up 3 flights of stairs in sticky hot weather, without one complaint. He was my hero! Once he was finished he gave me a quick kiss, he was off to shower and get ready for his big day!


After the birthday boy left, I took a quick shower, applied my make-up carefully, and styled my hair to his liking. He loved it long and down. "Now what should I wear?" I thought. It was his day and he did carry all of my furniture up 3 flights of stairs. "Plumber guy" happened to mention to me that he loved how I looked in my jean shorts. So I was more than happy to oblige. After an hour, or so, of primping, I jumped in my car and ran into the mall, hoping that a gift would jump out, prompting me to buy it for my love. It didn't happen. I decided to buy him two nice shirts, that I knew would look soooo good on him and that would show off his glorious pecks. The shirts were also a gift for me! And as a little joke, I bought him a silly card that said Happy 1st Birthday (I know, it was dorky) and a helium balloon. They weren't the most amazing gifts, but I was still getting to know "plumber guy" and at times, he could be a mystery. He was a humble, and a strong, silent, type of gentlemen. He would never be the kind of guy to show off, except when doing the Chinese splits.


After my impromptu birthday gift shopping, my freshly showered man of my dreams came to my apartment to pick me up. I loved how he looked and smelled after he had just showered. His soft wavy hair was still wet and he smelled like Irish Spring soap. He almost glowed after showering. Hmmmmmm. I loved that smell. I greeted him with a big, birthday hug and kissed him on his lips.


"Happy birthday!" I said.


"Well thank you! You look good, I love these shorts," he said, as he placed his hands on my hips and tugged at my pockets.

My heart skipped a beat. Little actions and words like these made me melt.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"I'm ready."

I hurried and grabbed his carefully wrapped gift and birthday balloon and we walked hand in hand to his truck. I loved it when he drove his truck. Driving in his truck meant that I could sit right next to him as he drove. We looked like a real couple.

"Plumber guy" had talked about his brothers and sisters in previous conversations and I had imagined what they had looked like. He had older siblings that were married with children, which was new to me, being the oldest of 6 kids and the youngest only being 9 years old. I already met his youngest sibling, Larry, and besides both having freckles, they really didn't look that much alike. "Plumber guy" had soft wavy, light brown hair with a hint of strawberry blond, and his brother was taller with dark brown straight hair.

As we were nearing his home, I started to get a little nervous. Would his family like me? What would they think of me? What has he told his family about me? So many questions and concerns.

We arrived to his home and the first thing I noticed was a questionable character standing on the front stairs. There was a man wearing a tank top, cut off shorts, and a pony tail of long dark hair, drinking a Pepsi and laughing and talking loudly. I was a little surprised, considering how clean cut "plumber guy" was. "Plumber guy" didn't say a word about the character on the questionable character on the steps.

"Is this guy "plumber guy's" other brother?" I thought to my self. "They don't look alike. This guy looks like he could be in a biker gang!"

"Plumber guy" parked his truck and we made our way to the front door. There were cars everywhere! Little kids were running in and out of the house and playing in the yard. People were coming and going. The place was a zoo. This was no ordinary "family birthday party"! I immediately went in to my "shy" mode and hoped the birthday boy would not leave my side. We made our way through a sea of people, with me clinging to his arm. The only people I recognized were his brother Larry, his parents (who were fully clothed this time), and his friend Dave. "Plumber guy" showed me a seat in the family room then left me. Everyone just kind of acknowledged me and would give a smile hello and then would carry on with their conversations with one another. I felt as if, people were checking me out to see if they approved of me. If I was "right" for their friend, brother, and son. I was feeling overwhelmed and alone. Then at that moment there was a loud comotion and in walked "plumber guy's" other brother, John, and he lifted "plumber guy" on to his shoulder, yelling something about his birthday.

"Now this guy must be his other brother," I thought. He was shorter, but they had the same hair color and similar features.

After things settled down, "plumber guy" then introduced me to everyone.

"Everyone, this is Jennifer," he said loudly.

"Hi," I responded shyly.

Then he told me who was who, one by one. The forbidding character on the steps was his sister Wendy's husband, and turns out he was nice and not in a biker gang. This party included not only all of his brothers and sisters, this party included nieces, nephews, brother-in-laws, sister-in-law, boyfriends, friends, and neighbors! There was no way I would remember all of these people!

Once he introduced me, everyone started to talk about the 4th of July trip to my home in Wyoming and asking us questions. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! He had told everyone about the trip! Even his neighbor knew! I was realizing more and more that he was more excited about the trip than he let on and that his friends and family were excited for him. For some reason this made me more nervous about the trip. It was only days away and it was too late now to cancel.

After dinner, "plumber guy" opened his gifts. I had thought I was going to be giving him his gift in a private moment, but that soon changed. After opening several gifts, he came to mine. The room became silent and all eyes were on us. I heard crickets chirping, it was so quiet. He read the card out loud and gave a little chuckle then opened his gift. His family seemed confused by the card.

"Oh great!" I thought. "They don't get me. They think I'm a dork."

"I love them!" he said, as held up the two shirts that I gave him.

Then he leaped up from his chair and he gave me a big hug and a peck on the cheek. I felt my cheeks turn hot and red with embarrassment from the public display of affection that he showed.

As we were eating cake and ice cream, "plumber guy" grabbed me by the arm and said, "We have to get out of here! Hurry!"

"What's going on?" I thought. "Was there a fire?"

Then it hit me... literally. The stinch would make a skunk run for it's life. Larry, the youngest sibling displayed one of his many talents. "Plumbers guy's" mother scowled at Larry and everyone high tailed it out of there.

"His family is crazy," I thought. I could not believe that his brother would fart in front of neighbors, let a lone strangers. After all of these years, not much has changed.

After cake and ice cream and the stinky fog had cleared the room, we drove to a near by park to play sand volleyball. I had never played sand volley ball and it showed. We didn't play long and then my man of my dreams drove me home to my new apartment. I laid in his arms as we sat on my couch. This was perfect.

It was getting late and "plumber guy" needed to get home. I walked him out to landing outside of my door and we kissed each other good bye. I stood on the landing, watching him go down the stairs then he turned back and waved to me when he was about to walk out of my view. This became a nightly ritual with us. I hated that he had to leave me every night. I longed for the day when we could spend every waking moment with each other.

I had survived meeting everyone in his family and in a few days I was taking him home to meet my family.

"Now, I just have to call my parents and let them know that I was going to be bringing a "guest," I thought to myself.

After surviving meeting "plumber guy's" entire family, did Jennifer go through with the 4th of July trip home to Wyoming? And if they did go, what event could happen that would almost mean the end of "plumber guy's" and Jennifer's love story?

An Amendment To Part 5

Okay, so today I was at my cute sister-in-law Kate's house and we were talking about different blogs that we stalk. (Oh quit! You know you do it too.) So anyway, it then hit me. I completely forgot to let you, all of my lovely readers, in on another tid bit, of the utmost importance, information about the "plumber guy's" and mine love story.


It happened the same night that the "kiss to die for" happened. As you can remember, "plumber guy" and I were sitting on the couch holding hands. We were talking about the different sports and activities that we participated in when we were younger. I told him that I use to be in gymnastics and that I wasn't as limber as I use to be.


"I use to be able to do the Chinese splits," I told him. "But I can no longer do them."


Then "plumber guy" said, "I can do the Chinese splits."


"Nu-uh! Now way! I don't believe you!" This I had to see.

Then all of the sudden, "plumber guy" plopped down in front of me and spread his manly legs, one to the VERY far left and the other to the VERY far right!

My mouth dropped. I was speechless. It was at that very moment that the thought came to me, "I must marry this man. Oh yes, he must be the father of my children."

Oh yeah ladies... that one was for you. Gentlemen, you can now stop grimacing with the thought of the pain that "plumber guy" had to have experienced.

Still, to this day, I ask him to perform this limber "act" for me on occasion. He's not as quick as he use to be, but it's worth it!

And Then He Kissed Me! Part 5

The handsome "plumber guy" and I had been on two dates, and had yet to have our first kiss. A couple of days after our second date, "plumber guy" called and came to my apartment, just to spend time with me. One would have thought the elusive first kiss would have happened that night. The setting was ripe for the picken, but "plumber guy" was a gentlemen.


It was Friday night date night and I was going out with the gorgeous "plumber" again! He was taking me to a movie and it was a warm evening. So jean shorts, cute sandals, and a cute top were in order.


Knock, knock


"Hi!"


"Hey, you look good!"


"He said I looked good!" I thought to myself, with excitement.


"So what movie are we going to see?"


"Braveheart. I heard it's really good," he claimed. ("plumber guy" had already secretly seen it)


We arrived to the theater and took our seats. Without hesitation "plumber guy" took my hand in his and held it. Be still my heart! I could hardly contain myself.


I was enjoying the movie when all of the sudden "plumber guy" said," Oh, we've got to step out for a little bit. I forgot about this part." He took my hand and led me out of the theater. "I saw this already with my brother, and there's a nudity scene that I forgot about."


How gentlemen like. After that certain scene was over we went back in to watch the rest of the movie. We sat there hand in hand with our heads tilted towards each other. It was bliss.


We continued watching the movie and then another one of "those" scenes came on the screen. Mel Gibson and an army of men lifted their kilts in unison! Revealing that Scottish men really do not wear anything under their kilts.


"Oh my word!" I teased "plumber guy". "What kind of movie have you brought me to? I can't believe you brought me to a movie that showed an army of wenises (that's what I call them) flapping in the wind!"


"Plumber guy" was speechless. I could tell his face was bright red with embarrassment.


"I, I, I'm soooo sorry. I totally forgot about that part."


"I'm just kidding! It's no big deal, well some of it was a BIG deal," I teased.


He began to laugh. I was feeling comfortable enough to actually be myself and I think he liked that I took what could've been a very uncomfortable situation and made it into a funny experience. (kind of like my experience with Herbert the pervert) I always considered the first date as a trial date. Your nervous, anxious, and trying to impress your date to your best abilities. Does anyone act like their normal selves on the first date? The date was turning out to be fun. We were enjoying being with each other.


Once we came back to my apartment, I invited "plumber guy" in for a while. We talked a little longer and held hands. Sigh. It was getting late and "plumber guy" had to go home. We stood at the door way for a while then he put his arms around me and gave me a hug. We slowly began to separate, but with our arms still around each other. "It's going to happen," I thought. "He's going to kiss me!" I then turned my face towards his. Our cheeks brushed together, sending chills down my spine.
And then it happened.... I kissed him! He did not kiss me.... I kissed him. The kiss was not returned!


He then smiled at me and said, "I had a good time. It was alot of fun. I'll call you tomorrow, okay."


"Thank you. It was fun. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Did what I just thought happened...happened?" I thought. I kissed him! He did not kiss me! Why didn't he kiss me? Why didn't he kiss me back? Did I do something wrong? I can't believe I kissed him. I'm a kissing ho.


It was later found out that when "plumber guy" got home, he was telling his younger sister about our date and he asked her what it meant when I kissed him. She then asked, "did you kiss her back?"


"No."


"Are you nuts?!?!" she said. (yes, he was) "Why didn't you kiss her back?"


"I d'know? It just happened so quickly."


Just after "plumber guy" left my apartment, the phone rang.


ring, ring


"Hello"


"Jen! So did he kiss you?" It was my neighbor from across the street.


I told her what had happened and she began to laugh. "You kissed him! Hahahahahaha!"


"I know, I'm a dork," I said.


The next day "plumber guy" was true to his word and called me. In fact he called me everyday! Friday night date night couldn't have come fast enough. I would get to hold his hand. I would get to stare into those dreamy blue eyes, look upon that hot hiney. And he would hold me with his strong, body building arms.


For our fourth date we drove to the big city again. This time he took me to Temple Square. To tell you the truth... this did make me a little nervous. Was he going to propose marriage, already? I hope he's not thinking this seriously so soon in our relationship. We hadn't even had our first kiss.


We walked around hand in hand, taking in the beauty of the Temple and the grounds. We then went to the Joseph Smith Building and watched the film there.


After the film was done, we headed back to my apartment. My roommate, her fiance, and the couple across the street were there. Steve and I sat on the couch hand in hand. We were talking and laughing with everyone. I felt like we were a real couple. I was falling in love.


My roommate and my friends then left. "Plumber guy" and I were talking about our plans for the 4th of July. I was telling him about all of the fun things I was going to do back home, in Wyoming.


"First I will be going to our town's little parade, and then my family usually goes to South Pass City. It's an old gold rush town and you can tour all of the buildings. They have cow chip (poop) throwing contests, arm wrestling contests, and a big barbecue out there. Then we'll probably go visit the Willie and Martin Handcart sites. Then later on that night my dad's friend, who's a orthodontist, invites anyone who wants to come, to a barbecue and about 150 people sit on a hill side in his cow pasture and we watch a musically, choreographed fireworks show! It's amazing! He has his pyrotechnic's licence, and the fireworks are huge!"


"Plumber guy" looked at me in amazement. "Wow!" he said. He was most likely saying 'wow' because I told him all about the 4th of July festivities in one breath.


"So what are your plans?" I asked him.


"Oh, I'll probably just go see the fireworks in town with my family."


I then felt bad that I had bragged about everything I was going to do. His plans sounded, well, kinda boring. I felt bad about the fun and excitement that I had planned for the 4th of July. And then I opened my mouth...


"You should come with me!"


The minute the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. "What are you doing? There you go again, Jennifer! Acting before thinking of your actions!" I thought to myself. It was too soon to ask "plumber guy" to come home with me, meet the whole fam damily, and spend the night at my home! I was worried. What are you thinking? He won't say yes. It's too soon.


Then without hesitation he said, "okay!"


What! Did he just say yes? What do I do now? This could be a bad thing.


"I know! I just won't bring it up again, and maybe he'll just forget about it," I thought. (That plan didn't work)


"Plumber guy" then interrupted my thoughts.


"Give me your hand." He's so demanding.... I liked that.


I gave him my hand and he wrote something in pen on my palm. I held it up and it read, "What would you do if I kissed you?" Tee hee hee hee. I smiled from ear to ear, took his hand and wrote, "I would kiss you back."


It was going to happen! It was going to happen tonight! Then my my mind started to race. I hope I'm a good kisser. I hope I don't drool too much. Do I tilt my head to the right or to the left? These are the kind of stupid thoughts that go through my head daily.

It was time for him to go and I walked him to the door. The room was dark, lit only by the full moon peering through the window. (a little sappy, I know) He held both of my hands and then leaned in. He tilted he his head to the right and I followed suit and tilted my head to the right also. Then he softly kissed my lips. Fireworks!

It was a perfect kiss. It was the last of my first kisses.

And Then He Kissed Me! Part 4

Saturday came and went, and still no call. Every time the phone rang my heart would jump. No such luck. I was crushed.


Sunday came and I went to church by myself that day. My roommate had to work so I had to brave the 'singles ward' alone. And I do mean BRAVE. The 'singles ward' was a meat market. It was a shock to my system, just moving from Wyoming. I didn't really know anyone in the ward yet, so I sat by myself in one of the smaller pews. The organist was softly playing the prelude music and this pudgy red headed guy sat next to me.


"So are you new in this ward?"


"Um, sorta. I've been going to this ward for about a month now."


"What's your name?"


"Jennifer."


"Nice to meet you Jennifer." He flashed me a slimy smile. "I'm Herbert." (that wasn't really his name. I just chose to forget his name)


By this time the Bishop started to conduct Sac. meeting. "Our opening hymn will be on page so and so."


I went to grab my OWN hymn book, but "Herbert" was quick to offer his to share. He scooted in close to me then put his free arm around me! Ahhhhhhhhh! Where was "plumber guy" when I needed him? Why didn't he call me? "Plumber guy" would have never been this rude! But then if "plumber guy" did do this, I probably would've scooted in closer to him. "Plumber guy" was delightful, "Herbert" was icky.


This Sunday was Fast and Testimony meeting, so after the Bishop shared his testimony with the ward he turned the time over to the flock of singles. My thoughts of "plumber guy" were then interrupted.


"Are you going to bare your testimony?"


"What?"


"Are you going to bare your testimony? You know, you should."


"Um, I don't know." There is nothing more that I hate than having someone pressure me into situations.


"Herbert" then took my hand (oh yes... he did). "There are certain parts to a testimony, ya know." He touched my thumb and said, "first, you must acknowledge your blessings....blah, blah, blah." He continued to do this with EVERY finger. I could feel my fingers begin to shrivel up and die. It took everything in me to not slap him. Ahhhhhhhhhh! All of the sudden "Herbert" put his hand on my CHEST! In the middle of Sacrament Meeting! In the Lord's house!


"You have to FEEL your testimony HERE," he said, as he molested me.


"Herbert" the pervert then walked up to the podium to bare his testimony. I needed "plumber guy" more than ever now. If "plumber guy" was here, he would've have decked "Herbert" the pervert right in his pasty, white, freckled, nose. POW!


Herbert the pervert then started to bare his testimony.


"Brothers and Sisters I have just met the most wonderful young women named Jennifer. And if I'm not mistaken, the spirit has told me that she could be the one."


Everyone in the chapel turned around to see who he had claimed was "the one". All eyes were on me. "Oh please do not let anyone think that I'm with this perv!" I thought. "I'm suppose to be with the man of dreams.... my plumber."


When sac. meeting was over, "Herbert" the pervert asked for my phone number. I gave him a fake number and NEVER stepped foot in that ward AGAIN! I couldn't face going to Sunday School or RS, so I quickly ran to the church doors, with cheetah like speed. The Bishop ran after me to the parking lot and profusely apologized for "Herbert" the pervert's actions. (Oh yes, the Bishop saw EVERYTHING) He then told me, "Herbert can be a little too forceful (just a little), and I just want to warn you to stay away from him." The Bishop had to warn me about "Herbert" the pervert. He then told me that he was going to have a "talk" with him.


I quickly drove home and slipped into a comfortable pair of boxers, that I subbed for shorts, and an over sized tee. I slipped in a good movie to put mind at ease. This day had been a rough one. Between being molested in sac. meeting and obsessing whether or not the man of my dreams was going to call, I was exhausted.


Darkness rolled in and all of the sudden the phone rang. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Usually if the phone rang on Sunday it was one of either mine or my roommate's moms. My roommate answered the phone. "Jen, it's for you! It's him!" We then jumped up and down in unison together. He called! He called! He called! I quickly regained my composure.

"Hello."

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm doing good. I had an awful experience at church though. I'll have to tell you all about it." (clever girl. way to draw him in)

"Well actually, I was wondering if I could come over. I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, come on over."

He sounded so serious. Was he going to tell me that he couldn't see me... that he was in love with someone else? Maybe he knew I was "the one" and why waste time and propose right now. I rushed to the bathroom and quickly applied a new layer of make up and re-styled my hair.

Knock, knock.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hey do you want to go on a walk?"

"Sure." I quickly gathered a sweatshirt and we were off.

"So what do you need to talk to me about?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see you."

YAY! He just wanted to see me! That's a good sign! We walked around the neighborhood and carried on with delightful conversation. We were becoming more and more comfortable with each other. He walked me back to my apartment and this time I didn't sprint to my apartment door. We sat on the steps and talked some more and he asked me out for next Friday. He couldn't stay long, because he had to go to work early in the morning. That was okay, though. I got my dose of "plumber guy". He then hugged me and we said our good byes, and see ya laters. Still no kiss. But he gave me plenty to dream about that night.


Things were moving along beautifully with "plumber guy". But, alas, still no kiss. When would it happen? Would it ever happen? Did Jennifer ever recover from being violated from "Herbert" the pervert? We shall see.

And Then He Kissed Me! Part 3

"So do you think he's going to call you and cancel your next date?" my roommate asked.

"Probably." "He was nice, and he's hot, but I'm pretty sure I scared him off when I sprinted for the door after our date."

Then two days before the second date the phone rang.

Ring, ring

"Hello"

"Hello, hey how are you?" the manly voice on the other end of the phone asked?

It was "plumber guy"!

I tried to keep my cool and act like I wasn't obsessing whether he was going to call me or not.

"I'm good. How are you?" I replied.

"Good, good. I'm calling to let you know that I will pick you up around 7:00 on Friday. Is that okay?"

"Sounds good. I'll see ya then."

"Okay, well I'll see you. Bye."

"Bye."

I couldn't contain myself. He called! He called! He called! And he didn't cancel! Ooooooo, what should I wear?

Friday was finally here and after much thought and careful planning, I decided to go a little more casual and wore my cutest pair of jeans (the ones that made my butt look good, but not too large), a white tee with my new casual blazer and my brown boots. I primped for 2 hours, again, and made sure that every hair was in place. I looked good.

Knock, knock

"Hi!"

"Hi!"

There he was. That body had to be chiseled out of granite. And the jeans.... those lovely jeans. My heart fluttered with excitement. "Plumber guy" was the first guy that set my heart a-flutter like this. He was strong, quiet, and could be very intense at times. He was also one of the most humble people that I had ever met.

He walked me to his car and opened the car door for me. When he opened the car door for me, he said something in Korean to me. Tee hee hee hee. I giggled like a 12 year old school girl. I was a tard.

"So where is this institute party?" I asked.

"It's at the drive-in. They are having a barbecue then we are watching some movie with Drew Barrymore."

"Sounds good."

We got to the drive-in and joined everyone else in the party. "Plumber guy" shook the hand of one of the other guys and introduced me to him. Turns out "plumber guy" use to date his sister in high school. We talked a little to him and decided to walk around the drive-in parking lot while we were waiting for the food to cook. We talked about what happened with work that week and he asked about my home town in Wyoming. He talked about what he was studying at school and what his plans were for the future. It was nice to have a stroll around the parking lot and chit chat with him. Both of us were a little more relaxed and we managed to laugh a little more. I found that with every word he would say I was being sucked in more and more. I was starting to get attached.

When we got back to the party, we gathered our food and began to eat.

"Let's go eat in my car."

"Okay."

I wasn't going to argue. "Plumber guy" + Me + Drive-in + warm car = perfect kissing situation.

The movie started to show and then quickly became uncomfortable, due to a certain scene in the movie. "Plumber guy" started to squirm a little and I could feel my cheeks start to burn and turn red with embarrassment.

"Never mind about the perfect kissing situation," I thought.

"Are you in to this movie?" he asked.

"Not really."

"Do you want to leave?"

"Yeah."

"Oh thank heavens," I thought. I was relieved to dodge that embarrassing bullet.

We drove around for a while and he showed me his old stomping grounds. He told me that he was a wrestler in high school and that he also played rugby. He also competed as a weight lifter! I KNEW he worked out! I wondered what he looked like in a speedo, as he struck the choreographed, muscle pumping, poses. Did he shave all of his body hair off? Did he use self tanner or did he tan in a tanning bed? He was a scrappy fella!

I was falling for him and I was falling for him hard. My mind would start to wonder and I would daydream about our temple wedding and how many kids we were going to have. 3 kids, 4 at the most. We will have to see. I would imagine me making his dinner every night and him greeting me with a kiss when he would come home from work. We were the Cleaver's. He was not like any other guy that I had dated before. He was better.

It was getting late and we decided to take me home. This date seemed to go a little better than first one. We talked a little more, we laughed a little, and we got to know one another a little more. As we got closer to my apartment, I started to worry about the door scene, again. I didn't want to make the same mistake that I made last week. I kept telling myself to take it easy... to just relax.

He parked his car and opened my car door. And like a bolt of lightening (Wapow!), I ran up the stairs and quickly unlocked my apartment door. I was such a tard. I did it again! "Plumber guy" must think I am repulsed by him. What's wrong with me?"

This time "plumber guy" was quick on his feet and followed me all the way up the stairs, as I bolted to my apartment door.

I was shaking with nervousness. Was he going to kiss me? Will the kiss just be a quick smooch on the lips? Will the kiss be a lingering one? Or will the kiss begin as a lingering kiss then lead into a French kiss? Maybe he will just go for the gold and jump right in to a French kiss. (He did just serve a mission ya know).

"Thanks for coming to the barbecue with me," he said.

"Thanks for asking me. I had a good time."

"Well, I'll see ya later."

"See ya later. Bye"

"Bye."

No kiss! Not even a hug? Not even a hand shake? "Ohhhhhh!!!! It's official.... he doesn't like me. He thinks I'm a dork," I thought to myself.

I slipped into my apartment and my roommate was waiting for me.

"So did he kiss you?"

"No! I blew it. I don't think he's going to call me again. I hope he calls me. Maybe he'll call me. Oh, I don't think he's going to call me. I really want him to call me again."

Jennifer still didn't receive her much anticipated first kiss with "plumber guy". Would he ever call her again? If so, how long would he wait to call her?

And Then He Kissed Me! Part two

Exactly 13 years ago, from today, the "plumber guy" and I went on our first date. At this time I did not know that my landlord, his wife, and the "plumber guy" had concocted a clever little plan to create this event. They had succeeded at their plan, and now it was up to the "plumber guy" to work his magic.

The whole day was filled with nervous, excitement. While I was working hard as a technical support technician, thingy, person, for an internet service, a message appeared on the computer monitor.

"If you would like to clock out early, please notify a manager by sending an e-mail."


"Perfect!" I thought. "I can leave work early and have more time to get ready for my date."

Then another message appeared on my monitor.

" Jennifer, please come to the manager's desk."

I gathered my things and went to the manager's desk. I recognized this manager, but I never talked to him before.

Then he told me, "I'm Steve's friend. The guy that you are going on a date with tonight. My father-in-law is your landlord. I just wanted to meet you and tell you that Steve's a real nice guy."

"Oh, well it's nice to meet you. See ya later." (What's with everyone trying to sell this guy to me?)

I'm pretty sure he was checking me out to see if I was suitable for "plumber guy".

I got home and tried to pick the perfect outfit for this first date. The "plumber" never told me what we were going to do on our first date, so the options of appropriate apparel were endless.

• Dress or skirt? Hmmmm.... maybe we are going to see an opera? Doubtful.
• Cutest jeans that made my rear look noticeable, yet, not too large and a simple tee? Hmmmm... maybe we were going to go to a rodeo and I should don a pair of cowboy boots? Very doubtful.
• Shorts. My cute pair of jean shorts that showed off some leg. Better not, he's a M.I.G. (man in g's) and not ready for that kind of action.
• Sweats. Maybe we were going to go to the gym and work out? With that body, he definitely works out. NO WAY! I refuse to sweat in front of him.

I had nothing to wear. Shopping! I hurried and ran to the mall and searched for the perfect outfit, suitable to be burned into the brain of the "plumber guy". An outfit that would take his breath away, and stop him dead in his tracks. He would forever remember this outfit. This would be the one that he would reminisce about to our grandchildren! The one that would be burned into his brain.... FOREVER! Okay, that's going a little to far. I ended up buying a pair of khakis from the Gap. Straight legged, no pleats (I didn't want to look like I worked in Circuit City). And then I found a dark green silk blouse from ZCMI. Not too dressy, yet casual. Perfect.

Since I was unaware if we were going to eat, I decided to eat dinner. Heck, I was hungry and for all I knew, we were just going to probably go to a movie. So I had a small dinner, brushed my teeth, and primped for 2 hours all in the attempt to look like I had just thrown myself together with in minutes. No girl wanted to give the impression that her beauty came way of hours of maintenance.... layers of hairspray, careful application of eyeliner, thick coat of mascara, and several different attempts of the right lip wear. I waited anxiously.

Knock, knock.

My heart jumped into throat and I had to catch my breath.

I opened the door and was overcome by this fine specimen standing in front of me. This time I took every detail in. I could eat him up! He was wearing a white polo shirt and jeans. He looks sooooo good in jeans. His jeans sucked me in from day one. He was a vision. He was freshly showered and smelled lovely. "Look at those tanned arms," I thought. "So rugged, so man-esque." They had left a mark on my mind, as did his hiny. My heart fluttered and I smiled.

"Are you ready?"

"Yup!"

He opened the car door for me and we were off to the "big" city. Well, SLC. The traffic was slow and go and the conversation was minimal. Between the small spurts of chit chat, there was silence. The "plumber guy" was not much of a talker. I tried everything to strike up a conversation. I even resorted to asking useless questions.

"Soooooo, what's your favorite color?"

"Uh, black."

"Soooooo, how many brothers and sisters do you have?"

"3 sisters and 2 brothers."

"Hey, there are three boys and three girls in my family, also!"

"Oh."

"Soooooo, how old are your brothers and sisters?"

This date was starting off with a splash, let me tell ya! So the conversation went on like this for a while longer, until we reached our destination. We were going to have dinner at some Italian restaurant. Oh great, dinner.... again. We entered the restaurant, and were taken to our seats. We were surrounded by a sea of noisy, formal wearing highschoolers. Who has a formal dance this late in the school year? I ended up ordering manicotti and ate maybe three bites. I fessed up and told him I already had dinner and that I wasn't that hungry. In reality, I could've eaten the whole thing, but then I didn't want to look like a pig.

On the way home the conversation began to flow a little more easily. He told me about his mission to Korea and told me about the food, the people, and his experiences of teaching the Gospel. Once in a while he would flash a Korean word and phrase here and there to impress me. It worked. What is it that makes a woman giggle like a little school girl, when she hears a handsome young man speak another language? (sigh)

We then stopped at a park. I told the "plumber guy" that I needed to stop at the bathroom, placed in the middle of the park. There was no door to the bathroom! And I noticed "plumber guy" decided to wait right outside. "What if he heard me?" I thought. The lights were burned out, so I was in total darkness. I carefully placed a protective barrier of tp around the seat of the toilet and tried not to touch ANYTHING. Public bathrooms are always questionable, especially in the dark. I tried to control the "noise level" to my best ability. I mean, how do you control the noise level of peeing? Once I was done, I placed my purse on the counter near the sink. One of the sinks was clogged and had flooded. My purse was now soaked. I washed my hands and got the heck out of dodge!

We then walked slowly on a path that followed a meandering stream. We fed the swans and ducks and talked about our families, school, work, and life experiences.

"Plumber guy" then had a plan to stop at Baskin Robins to have an ice cream cone. But I said I really wasn't hungry. He didn't believe me and kept pressing me to have an ice cream cone.

"No, really I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Then for some odd reason he decided to stop at a grocery store. "Okay, maybe he needed a gallon of milk," I thought. So we walked up and down the aisles.

"Are you sure you are not hungry?" he would ask.

"Ummmm, YES!"

I later found out that he was just killing time. Don't ask. He's a dork. We then left the grocery store. (No milk on hand) We got in his car and he pulled up to a white sports car in the large parking lot, near a pizza joint. There were two guys standing there. The one guy looked 40, to me, and was wearing a chain. Now he did look like a Guido or Vinnie. The other freckle faced "kid" (the passenger) looked 12. "What the heck was this 40 year old doing with this kid?" I thought. "Why are we here?"

"Uh, Jennifer this is my friend Dave and my little brother Larry."

"Hi."

Turns out my date had another date that night. He was suppose to meet them at a certain time after our date, to hang out with them. Our date ran a little longer than expected. Two timer.

Well our date was coming to an end and it was time for me to go home. And he was pressed for time with his second date. As we were coming closer to my apartment, my mind started to race.

"What if he tries to kiss me?" "Should I let him kiss me?" "Do I unlock my apartment door then wait for the kiss?" "Or do I just wait for it?"

When we reached my apartment we walked up the side walk leading up to the stairs. I was nervous. And when I'm nervous, I do stupid things and say stupid things. I then bounded up the stairs, leaving "plumber guy" in a cloud of dust behind me and then unlocked the door.

"I had a great time. Thanks for everything."

"Uh, okay. I'll see you next Friday."

"Okay. See ya then."

"Plumber guy" was still at the bottom of the stairs with a confused look on his face.

"Jennifer! What the crap were you thinkin?"

I did the enjoy the date. I didn't mean to blow it big time at the end of the date. I just knew that he was going to call me and come up with an excuse to get out of the next date. I couldn't even imagine what he thought about me. Oh well, no kiss tonight.

Sadly Jennifer did not get her first kiss this night. Would "plumber guy" go on the second date with her? Or would he call her and cancel with a lame-o excuse? Tune in tomorrow for part 3.

And Then He Kissed Me! Part 1

The date was May 24th, 1995. This is the day that I met Steve... the hubbin of lovin, the stud muffin, the father of my children, my dork. This is a re-cap of how our story began, and the events that led up to "the first kiss".

One day I went to my landlord's house to drop off my rent and he asked me to come in and chat with him and his wife. They asked how I was doing and asked if I was dating anyone. What kind of landlord asks about your love life?

"Sheesh! I wish." I said.

I had been on a few dates since I had moved to Utah and so far, I was NOT impressed! My landlord then told me I needed to find someone to date!

I told him, "hey, I'm game, if you can find someone for me!"

A week later the landlord and his wife came over to our apartment to visit. They asked if there were any problems with the apartment and I told him about the leaky faucet in the bathroom. He told me and my roommate he knew someone that could fix it and he would contact him.

"Yeah right," I thought.

Then he asked me if I could show the apartment next to us to people that were looking to rent. What the heck, I had nothing else to do. The very next night the phone rang.

Ring, Ring. I answered, "Hello".

"Is Jennifer Parry there?"

"This is her."

"Uh, yes Jennifer, Ron (landlord) told me that you have a leaky faucet and I was wondering if I could come over tomorrow to replace it?"

"Sure, what time?"

"How about 11:00."

"Okay, that'll work. See you then. Bye."

"Bye."

11:30 the next day, and the "plumber" is late. Knock, knock. I opened the door and there stood this guy in white t-shirt with some sort of logo/picture/wording on the front and jeans. The first thing I noticed about him was the chain around his neck and his freckles. Only guys named Vinnie and Guido with tons of chest hair wear chains, I thought. The chain looked out of place. Because of the "plumber's" tardiness, I just assumed this guy was someone wanting to check out the apartment next to us.

Before he could even say one word, I blurted out, "oh you must be here to check out the apartment." I handed him the key and told him to return it when he was done.

"Uh, no... I'm here to fix your faucet. I'm sorry I'm late."

"Oh I'm sorry. Come on in."

I then showed him where the bathroom was and told him what was going on with the faucet. As I followed him towards the bathroom, I checked out the goods. What? Like you wouldn't? Nice butt! He must work out, I thought.

He looked all serious and turned the faucet on and off to diagnose it. Then he proceeded to lay out his tools and the new faucet.

"Okay, well I'll just be in the living room if you need anything," I said.

Weird, awkward silence followed.

Do I go in there and talk to him?

Where would I sit? On the toilet? No, that's weird!

I'll just sit here and watch t.v..

About a half hour passed. Not a word was uttered between the two of us. He came out and said the faucet was fixed and to call Ron if there were any problems and he told me to not use it for a few hours.

"Thanks," I said.

A few hours later my landlord and his wife stop by to see how good of a job the "plumber" did. They asked what I thought about the "plumber".

I told them he was late, but he had a nice butt and the new faucet is working great. Then my landlord's wife starts telling me about the "plumber."

"Oh Jennifer, he's such a nice guy. He's been home from his mission since August. He's good friend's with our son-in-law and went to school with our daughter and her husband. He's going to school and he just bought a new set of pots and pans!"

(Huh? Okay.... What kind of single guy buys pots and pans?)

"You should go out with him!"

Okay, whatever. So anyhoo, with out my knowledge this whole thing was a SETUP! You heard me right. The "plumber", the fixing of the faucet, the landlord and his wife coming over to see what I thought about the "plumber", was a SETUP! They immediately went home to tell the so-called "plumber" what I said and what I thought about him. Oh yes, he was at their home waiting to hear the report. The first thing they tell him was that I said he had a nice butt! And here's another little tid bit of info... the "plumber" had NEVER, EVER fixed a faucet in his whole entire life!

Later on that night the phone rings.

Ring, Ring. "Hello, is Jennifer there?"

"This is her."

"This is Steve, the guy that fixed the faucet today. I need to come over tomorrow to see if the faucet is working right."

"Okay. I'll see you then." "Bye."

"Bye."

Sounds fishy huh?

The next day, in the evening, Steve the so-called "plumber" stopped by. My roommate was there and the couple across the street were there. Steve went to the bathroom and checked out the faucet while I sat in a chair talking to my friends. When he was done, he came out and then kneeled down by my chair.

"Is this guy going to propose?" I thought.

"There's this institute party in a couple of weeks and I was wondering if you would like to go with me? But I would like to get to know you a little better before then and I was wondering if you would like to go out this Friday?"

"Sure!" I said.

"Okay, how about 6:00?"

"Sounds good. I'll see ya then. Bye."

"Bye."

Was this guy crazy? Did he just ask me out for two dates? Maybe he knows a good thing when he sees it. Maybe he's nuts.

Did Jennifer end up going on two dates with the so-called plumber? Did the bathroom faucet hold up? If they did go on a date, did they kiss on the first date? Or did they kiss on the second date? Check out my blog tomorrow to find out the gory details!

Flashback Friday..... LVHS Dance Pics

Dances in high school were the bomb! In "White Trash Capital" one didn't get many chances to dress up, apply your eyeliner extra thick, and rat your hair higher than your dates head. I would say there is at least 6 inches of towering bangs floating above my head. For the life of me, I could not find this actual dance picture. (I hate it when I cannot locate important memorabilia!) My date wore a skinny, black, leather tie and his scuzzy old high top sneakers. Classy. This lovely dress was created by me with extra puffy sleeves and a lovely pink lace overlay on the skirt. I believed the puffy sleeves would give the illusion of me having a tiny waist. Back then I was freaked because I thought the lace stuck out too much and made my hips look large. Ya, look at me now! Jim (date of the year) bought the largest corsage he could find. It was as big as my boob and would keep on falling off all night, due to the sheer mass of it. My date did not "fast dance", so we only danced the slow dances. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Lame. Music of choice was by INXS - Nothing Will Ever Tear Us Apart ! His mom loved me, because I was a "good" girl (ahem) and she actually ordered 3-D figurines of our dance pictures and placed them on a shelf in her living room. They were creepy and looked like paper dolls. I bet she secretly role played with them and dressed them up.

Jim (date of the year) was not the only one to ask me to this dance. Oh ya, they were lining up to ask me to go with them.

Corky began to pout when I turned him down. Sorry Corky, maybe next time.

Although Vinny impressed me with his gesture of shaving a heart in his fur filled back, I had to turn him down.

Ted's mullet was very alluring. Business in the front and nothing but PARTAY in the back! This relationship could've been a match made in heaven, but circumstances prevented it.

Warning: The image below may cause permanent damage to one's retinas. I just couldn't resist, it made me laugh.

Barney serenaded me with a classic rendition of Elvis' song You Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog when he asked me. But the unnatural "camel toe" was the clincher. I just couldn't do it.

Just say no to camel toe!

(I saved the best for last)

As you can see it was a tough decision, but I do believe I made the right choice.