Dances in high school were the bomb! In "White Trash Capital" one didn't get many chances to dress up, apply your eyeliner extra thick, and rat your hair higher than your dates head. I would say there is at least 6 inches of towering bangs floating above my head. For the life of me, I could not find this actual dance picture. (I hate it when I cannot locate important memorabilia!) My date wore a skinny, black, leather tie and his scuzzy old high top sneakers. Classy. This lovely dress was created by me with extra puffy sleeves and a lovely pink lace overlay on the skirt. I believed the puffy sleeves would give the illusion of me having a tiny waist. Back then I was freaked because I thought the lace stuck out too much and made my hips look large. Ya, look at me now! Jim (date of the year) bought the largest corsage he could find. It was as big as my boob and would keep on falling off all night, due to the sheer mass of it. My date did not "fast dance", so we only danced the slow dances. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Lame. Music of choice was by INXS - Nothing Will Ever Tear Us Apart ! His mom loved me, because I was a "good" girl (ahem) and she actually ordered 3-D figurines of our dance pictures and placed them on a shelf in her living room. They were creepy and looked like paper dolls. I bet she secretly role played with them and dressed them up.
Jim (date of the year) was not the only one to ask me to this dance. Oh ya, they were lining up to ask me to go with them.
Corky began to pout when I turned him down. Sorry Corky, maybe next time.
Although Vinny impressed me with his gesture of shaving a heart in his fur filled back, I had to turn him down.
Ted's mullet was very alluring. Business in the front and nothing but PARTAY in the back! This relationship could've been a match made in heaven, but circumstances prevented it.
Warning: The image below may cause permanent damage to one's retinas. I just couldn't resist, it made me laugh.
Barney serenaded me with a classic rendition of Elvis' song You Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog when he asked me. But the unnatural "camel toe" was the clincher. I just couldn't do it.
Just say no to camel toe!
(I saved the best for last)
As you can see it was a tough decision, but I do believe I made the right choice.
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Wow. That's some pretty hot choices! The last one especially. Seriously, what are people thinking. And the figurines? Crazy.
ReplyDeleteoh, I can't stop laughing. That is a great selection of date opportunities! What's the problem with the Elvis guy!? Come on! He could sing to you all night. Think Love Me Tender.
ReplyDeleteAs always, you do not dissapoint.
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you:
Yesterday, my sister-in-law was finally looked at my blog. Her daughter Lynsie (on my blog) has a blog too and they were looking at hers. Lynsie showed her your blog and she said that the two of them were laughing SO hard that they had tears streaming down their face. When I told her that I knew you and that you were in my ward in RS with me, she acted like I knew a celebrity. Do you feel special?? You're awesome.
Oh, and I'm totally taking you up on the window seat. YAY!!!! I need to talk to you..... Tuesday.
Oh MY GOODNESS! Where do you find these pictures? The one of you WAS fabulous though! I would have worn that dress and lace was VERY in back then. Great sewing skills!
ReplyDeleteYou are SOOOO funny! You make me laugh so hard, Jen!!
ReplyDeleteI have the same dress, same color, I didn't have the hair though. Maybe that's why I didn't look as good as you, the outfit needs the hair.
ReplyDelete