Thursday, March 4, 2010

No Dogs Allowed

I'm not an "animal kinda person". Sorry, I'm just not. Although, I do think baby animals are cute...but from afar. You see, it's the poop, fur, and smell thing. It's hard enough dealing with the above mentioned, from my own family. But from a species that sniffs fellow species' butts and poo- forget about it!

As you may remember, we did once own an evil hamster. (click here to read all about the evil hamster) It was a moment of weakness for me and I blame it on pregnancy. Cody had been begging and begging for a pet for several years and I finally caved. My hormones were out of whack and stupidity had infiltrated the chambers of my brain. Holy crap did that rodent ever stink! (gagging reflexes in full force right now)

There is nothing like stepping in a heaping, pile of fresh poo while mowing the lawn, or accidentally handling some cat poo while weeding the flower gardens. Often these incidents are followed by colorful language and gagging, on my part.

And quite frankly, who needs a dog when you live with a bunch of boys?

And in my case, I have practically given birth to a puppy. We call him Conner (a.k.a. - Homeboy) Homeboy likes to pretend he is a puppy, lately. He picks his toys up with his teeth and will try to eat his meals, without the use of utensils or his hands. True to his "puppy self", Homeboy likes to get into things and makes messes.

All. Of. The. Time.

Yesterday he smeared diaper rash medicine all over my tv and walls in my bedroom, then proceeded to squeeze the substance on my floor. Later he emptied a brand new bag of chocolate chips on the floor. I'm sure there were other messes, that he caused, but they have all become a blur.

(Behold! The diaper rash medicine mess. Again. And I'm sure, will not be the last time. Help me. Whimpering.)

(Oh, good grief.)

(Homeboy displaying "guilt" after the above mess, mishap. The "guilt" only lasted two seconds.)

Another odd, puppy-like, behavior that Homeboy has been demonstrating is to strip nekkid and mark his territory.

That's right - my kid ain't normal. He is his father's child, you know. I believe I just 'sensed' my husband rolling his eyes with that last sentence. It's uncanny at how n'sync we are.

Monday my poor coffee table became his target of choice. I, and the coffee table, will never be the same. I am seriously considering sanding and refinishing the entire surface.

(The pictures below were taken with my highly, covert camera phone. It is proof of the much, annoying, new habit, Homeboy is displaying lately. Be thankful that the image is blurry. Believe me.)

(Homeboy's big brother, Homey, is displaying the much 'disbelief' after little brother, Homeboy, sat on his IPod with his bare, nekkid, bum. I don't blame him.)

Everyday there are new messes to deal with and new challenges to be conquered with my "pack". But truth be told - I would have it no other way.


  1. WOW! I wouldn't own an animal if I were you either. I can say I don't blame you one bit.
    We own 2 little dogs, and I always say, when they go, I am not getting another. But I know I am a sucker for a cute little puppy.
    For the cats, they are just wrong, my neighbors cats poop in every single one of my flower beds, so now I have to make sure I wear gloves every time I want to play in the flowers. I hate them so much I tried to shoot them with a pellet gun :) I know I am evil, but they are worse, dirty creatures!

  2. The nekkid stuff is such a Lewis trait. Raegan hasn't mastered the undoing of the onesie yet. She is trying believe me. She won't keep a shirt or pants on. So, obviously it's a Lewis thing.

  3. Amen, Sista! I could never own an animal with all the messes!
    Good luck with the little nekkid streekin' boy though! :)

  4. That is SO my little son, Cole! Are we living the same life? Man, I sure hope there's a light at the end of the very long, desitin-smearing, chocolate spreading, crayon-on-the-walls writing tunnel. We've already determined that our little boys can never play together, right? World domination would ensue.

  5. No more animals for you!! That face on Homey is HILARIOUS! Funny funny! (But only because it's not my kid.) You must be so tired after chasing him around day and night!! He'll probably turn into one of the most well-behaved kids and no one will believe all of the mischief that he caused when he was this little.

  6. Anonymous5:19 PM

    It's so easy to choose high quality [url=]replica watches[/url] online: [url=]Rolex replica[/url], [url=]Breitling replica[/url], Chanel replica or any other watch from the widest variety of models and brands.


Tell me what you think... only if it compliments me and my, sometimes humorous, sometimes weird, sometimes creative, post! No meanies allowed!