Friday, April 11, 2014

No Boys Allowed - Part 2

 Every time I clean our bathrooms, I am thrown in to a series of emotions and reactions.  None of which, that are pleasant.  Before entering one of our bathrooms, I say a little prayer.  A prayer for strength and endurance, so that I may survive what ever atrocious sights, substances, and smells that I will encounter.
 Today was no different.  Today I cleaned the bathroom that Homeboy uses!  *insert dramatic GASP*  When first entering this bathroom I was immediately taken back at the sight of Star Wars themed undies, carelessly draped on to the top of the toilet.  From past experiences, I have learned to only handle my boy's undies, by the waist band.  It only took one time, that I mishandled a pair of little, boy, tighty, whities, and I forever learned my lesson!  One can only imagine the horrific substances that have been left in their undies.  I would be a very rich woman if I were paid for the many conversations/discussions of how to correctly wipe (preferably with toilet paper), after one has finished their bathroom duties.
Once I had quickly disposed of the nasty undies, I began to chisel away the hundreds of dried, toothpaste, deposits.  I can only compare Homeboy's teeth cleaning routine to that of a circus act.  How on earth does he manage to get toothpaste on the ceiling?  On the CEILING!!!
The many hours that I have spent cleaning our bathrooms, has given me the opportunity to fantasize some more about my Zen Cottage.
How lovely would this door be, as you entered into my cottage?
Our front door is in desperate need to be painted and I mentioned to my husband that perhaps we could paint the door with a bright and cheery yellow.  Or how about a green apple color?  So fresh!  So uplifting!
Folks, I literally witnessed my husband go into a catatonic state, at the mere suggestion of painting our front door an appealing color, other than white.  I was close to having to lay him down on the ground and placing him on his side, for the fear that he would swallow his tongue.  Good grief.

I dream of having an inviting and appealing cottage porch!  Who cares if I place a ridiculous, mass, amount of wicker furniture!  

Of course a cottage porch is not complete with out a strategically placed rocking chair, fluffy pillows, and a soft throw!  Oh, and don't forget your sun hat!

My cottage porch will be sure to coordinate with every holiday and season!  I especially love the Fourth of July bunting, below!  I would love to adorn our very own front porch with a festive bunting, but I am sure to always encounter rolling of eyes, complaints, and visions of boys using the bunting as target practice.

Esqueeze me?!?!  Are those matching beds on this cottage porch?  Can't you just imagine, gentle breezes, reading a good book/magazine, and partaking of a refreshing glass of lemonade (with condensation dripping on the outside of the glass!)?

 Who on earth, would ever think to place an armoire on the cottage front porch?  Well, I would of course!  You need something to store all of your fine linens and throws!

...and a hutch, mounted to the front of your cottage, to display your fine China.  Okay, I have to admit this is a little far fetched.
I have always enjoyed the notion of creating a beautiful and inviting porch.  It's my hope that my friends, family, and all those guests who visit us, would feel immediate acceptance, kindness, and belonging.  I do realize that my fantasy, Zen Cottage Porch, isn't really "do-able" at my home.  Instead my, porch will include the green, colored, pencil, scribblings on the concrete and bird house.  My front door and wood trim, needs to be painted.  Many times you will have to step over scattered legos, and squished bug guts, as you enter the front door, but I do know that my front porch displays a message that represents my crazy, energetic, testosterone filled, home.  It's filled with love, laughter, and a lot of yelling! 

Now it's your turn!  What does your front porch say about you and your family?  What would your "fantasy porch" look like?

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