Saturday, March 22, 2014

No Boys Allowed - Part 1

I have lived in a household of all boys for 18 years now.  In the beginning, it was only me and my husband.  Although he was a little messy and trimmed his toe nails with our new steak knives, he was still very tolerable.  He helped me dry dishes and he was and still is, to this day, incredibly handsome.  And then we added three more boys to our humble abode.  With each new boy addition, the messes have tripled, the noise level booms from the rafters, and stench wafts through every pore, nook, and cranny, of my home.
Earlier today I ventured to our downstairs, living area.  If you can call it that.  As I turned the corner of the bottom of the stairs, I was slammed into a wall of horrific smells that could strip the hair off of a cat.  I tried to escape it, but everywhere I turned, there it was... the smell of butt.  That's right folks!  My basement wreaks of bun holio. 
Maybe it was the toxic fumes, the constant picking up after my boys, or witnessing the many holes, stains, precious items broken, that caused this magnificent dream to pop in my head...
"I should totally build a cottage in my backyard, for me!  And only ME!  No boys allowed!  No toxic farts.  No legos.  No boys accidentally kicking holes in my walls, while doing skate boarding tricks.  Peace and quite.  My own little Zen cottage!"
Now the prospect of my little dream actually becoming a reality, is highly unlikely.  But one can dream.
I thought it would be fun if you joined me in my little day dream adventure, of Jen's Zen Cottage!
Hark!  If I were to build my Zen cottage in my backyard, this would be the path I would walk on, to escape testosterone city!
 Imagine the many warm, starry nights, of rocking in my rocking chair, on my wrap around porch!  You can join me and we can drink lemonade and listen to the crickets chirp.  *sigh*

Seriously, could you just die at the lovely-nous?!?!

I look at the perfectly, placed, pots of flowers, in front of these cottages and think, "If I ever attempted to put, perfectly, placed, pots of flowers on my front door steps, I am sure they will be used as a bathroom."
  I wouldn't put it past Homeboy to do such a thing.  Remember when he dropped his drawers in the middle of our driveway and dumped a Stanley steamer, poo mess, right there?!?! 
I just can't have anything nice!
Stay tuned for my further posts of my delusions, I mean my dream Zen Cottage!
*all pictures posted, are from the wonderful Pinterest website!  It's like crack man!*

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