Thursday, October 2, 2008

Flashback Friday! The puking incident

This is Mr. Cowboy, who was a senior in my high school, when I was a freshman. He was the largest student in our whole entire school population of 320. He was a daunting 6' 5" tall and weighed in at around 300 bulky pounds. He was intimidating, towering, colossal, and I puked on him.

You may recall seeing his picture before on my blog, from this previous flashback. He didn't look so happy when I emptied the contents from my stomach onto his wranglers and his massive cowboy boots.
Look at the size of his noggin! It has to be the size of a pumpkin.
"Look at the size of that boy's heed! I'm no kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick. Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid. Has it's own weather system. Heed! Move! I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was off side, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow." - quote from the movie So I Married An Axe Murderer.

It was the first month of my freshman year in high school. Freshman were considered to be on the bottom of the food chain. We were scared, wide eyed, lil punks just trying to make it to our classes on time and to not look like dorks by making the mistake of entering the wrong classroom with a bunch of seniors in it. That was the horror of all horrors.

So any hoo... back in the day I had horrible, painful, how should I put it? Ummmmm, menstrual cycles. There I said it. So sue me. When Aunt Flo paid me a visit, she usually brought gut wrenching cramps that felt like strong labor pains, and uncontrollable puking, due to the pain. That's what I do. I have horrible pain... I puke. I would spend the first two days of Aunt Flo's visit on the bathroom floor, wishing I was a BOY! Pain killers didn't work, because I couldn't keep them down, so I usually ended up getting a suppository inserted (shudders) or a shot in the rear to make me stop puking. Sigh. Those were the days.

On this certain day of the "puking incident", I just happened to be in the beginning stages of one of my episodes, while at school.

As the day would progress, so would my pain. I went to the nurses office to call my mom and she said, "See if you can stick it out a little longer." Thanks mom. I left the nurses office, just as the bell rang and the halls began to fill up with fellow students. I grabbed my sketch pad for art class and started to walk towards the classroom with a friend. My friend looked at me and said, "Are you okay? You are ghost white!"

"No I'm not alright. I think I'm going to be sick." Just then that repulsive urge hit me. I quickly turned the opposite direction to run to the bathroom, which we had just barely passed, but my efforts failed. Blahhhhhhhh!

For a mere moment, everything and everyone moved in slow motion.

"Oh s&@*!" yelled Mr. Cowboy.

My eyes looked at Mr. Cowboy's, now polluted cowboy boots, and followed all the way up his enormous wranglers, to his flannel shirt, then to his very large head. His eyes turned into glaring slits, and I bolted to the nearest bathroom to finish my puke session. Students began scurrying around my mess, all the while making statements like, "Gross! Ooooooo! Who puked?!?!"

Once I was finished, I tried to clean my shirt with a wet paper towel, rinsed my mouth, and checked to see if the coast was clear.

I then ran to my locker and grabbed my jacket and went to the nurses office. I noticed my "mess" was already cleaned up, which thoroughly impressed me. Kudos to the janitorial staff at LVHS!
For a while I was known as "puke girl" and if I happened to run into Mr. Cowboy, he would joke and say, "Don't puke on me!" Hahahahahaha! Oh Mr. Cowboy, that's a knee slapper! You are such a kidder! It was so nice of you to remind me of this humiliating moment in my life, every time I saw you.


  1. ARGH! You poor girl! Nothing can comapre with that experience! Cowboy WAS huge! What was he made of, besides rudeness?

  2. Wow! I actually started thinking that quote you so thoughtfully put on there from Ax Murderer, when you first started talking about this guys head. Sorry it was's a great tale to tell, though!

  3. sorry for the humiliation and pain hopefully things have gotten better!!

  4. So many things to comment on.

    First of all, I LOVE 'So I married an Axe Murderer.' When he says 'Heed, MOVE', it's the best part of the whole entire show.

    Secondly, I can't believe you puked on such a mammoth man. And I can't believe how funny it is that he kept telling you not to puke on him every time you saw him. I would have done the same. I got puked on once on the bus and I was NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!!

    Thirdly, I read on Jennie's blog that you are NOW puking. So sorry. You should have known better than to blog about puke. It automatically comes your way after that. I hope you feel better soon. Just think of it this way: Now you've had it. And it's over and you're done.

    There. Do you feel better now?

    P.S. When you're feeling better, can you come over this week and take a peek at my house and my window seat? I'm ready to go get material. Let me know when you have a free afternoon.

  5. Ugh! How mortifying! It figures that your puke hit that guy, I mean he was an enormous target!

  6. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

    That is hilarious!!

    Sorry, but it is, you told it, not me. You know when your filling some stupid paper out and it asks "most embarrasing moment"??
    Well you take the cake. I honestly can't remember something embarrasing enough to remember happening to me. Oh maybe when my husband noticed that I had a HUGE 2 minute crush on a tattooed hunk at the bike store, and he called me out on it, in the store. While blushing, giggling and turning completely red. The guy noticed too. But not closely related to your 'puke' story.


    Poor you, I be high school was a total drag after that.

    I'm sorry but I am still laughing!


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