This is a picture of what my hair looked like, before I entered the swimming complex. Perfectly styled. Each hair in it's place, curled and then shellacked with a thick coat of ozone destroying hair spray.
Okay, maybe not so much. But you get the picture.
This is what I look like when I leave the complex. My hair is limp, and lacks the luster it once had, due to the stifling heat and humidity.
Once I am seated, the real fun begins. I prefer to sit at the very top of the hard as rock, back breaking bleachers, to partake of one of my favorite activities.... people watching.
On the second day of swimming lessons, I noticed a commotion about 20 minutes before the lesson was to end. Cody's swim teacher swam over to the other classes and instructed the other teachers to move their kids to the far end of the pool. His teacher then stepped out of the pool, talked to the manager and returned with a skimmer and a garbage can. "Did some one loose something important? Did someone just get sick in the pool?!?!?!" His teacher then put on his goggles, dove to the bottom of the pool and retrieved the mysterious item/s. The manager inspected the item/s closely then shook her head, as if she was discouraged. "Parents!" the manager yelled. "We are going to have to shut the pool down for the day. We have had a fecal emergency."
"That's just sick and wrong," I thought. Cody's swim teacher continued to dive to the bottom of the pool to retrieve the rest of the fecal remnants. That kid doesn't get paid enough.
(famous BabyRuth scene from the movie Caddyshack)
This picture shows the area of where the "fecal emergency" happened. Mid-lesson one of the kids from this class gets out of the pool and walks to the bleachers to have her mother take her to the bathroom, everyday. She must have a fiber rich diet, because the girl is as regular as Old Faithful.
On the day of the "great poop escape", she left the pool to have her mommy take her to the bathroom to go to the potty, because as in her words, "I really, really, really, really have to go poop mommy! (sniffle, sniffle) Mommy hurry, I'm going to poop in my suit!"
I'm not accusing the little girl of anything, but I'm just saying.... And hey, it happens to the best of us my little friend.
I have survived another summer of Swimming Lessons and Cody passed with flying colors! Can't wait to see what happens next season, when Conner will be walking and eating Cheerios off of the concrete floor, that do not belong to us.