Friday, June 20, 2008

Flashback Friday - The training bra dilemma

The year was some time in the 80's and I was in the 6th grade, in Mr. Amadio's class, and 12 years old. It was a BIG year for me. I was too cool for school, because as a 6th grader, we ruled the school. South Side Elementary, that is.

As you can see here, in my lovely 6th grade picture, I was demonstrating the typical fashion of that time. I had perfected the feathering technique of the glamorized mullet and you just weren't making a statement if you weren't wearing your polo-esque shirt with the alligator emblem and the collar sticking out of your matching sweatshirt. This statement was topped off with parachute pants, which I am sure I was wearing when this pic was taken. Sigh.... parachute pants. My pair were special. I remember if I stayed in direct sunlight too long, they would start to heat up and I swear there was a couple of times that they started smoking. They had various zippers and pockets, for my convenience, and were made of the most durable material known to man-kind... nylon. Sigh... parachute pants.

Not only BIG things were happening to me school wise and fashion wise in the 6th grade, but other things were happening to me. If you catch my drift. These were things that I had dreaded. I was not the typical pre-teen girl. I loathed the idea of a training bra, zits, hair under my pits and other places, and even worse...maxi pads. Insert loud horrific scream, right now!

A few months before the "training bra dilemma" Mrs. Bowman, the "health and science" teacher showed a special film. Before she showed the film, she threatened each of our immature 6th grade lives if there was any giggling or out bursts of laughter while the film was playing. Needless to say, Colby Erickson and I got kicked out to the hallway for giggling and bursting into laughter when the filmed showed the anatomy of the male body... when it was, you know? Um, how do I say this? Um, when that certain part of the male anatomy was vertical. Okay! I just burst into laughter again, when I flashbacked to the dreadful film! Are you going to kick me out of the room again Mrs. Bowman?!?!?!? Bring it lady!!!!!

I knew puberty was coming. The signs were there. The film, the way the parents were acting. I felt it. It was like a cloud lurking over my head and it wasn't going away!

One day, I woke up to something different. Let's just say, my shirts were not fitting like they use to. My mom had noticed. She began taunting me, "We need to get you a training bra!" I would run away with my hands over my ears. I thought, "If I just don't think about it or show my face around my mom, she'll stop bugging me to get a training bra." Yeah, that'll work genius.

For a month or so, I had managed to avoid the subject and my mom and went about my daily activities. One day, at school, I was standing in the lunch line, which was the busiest and most crowded time in the hallways of school, and I was chit chatting with a fellow classmate, named Dana. We were talking fashion. Neon colors were cool and the two of us just happened to be wearing neon hot pink striped shirts. I was also wearing a neon, hot pink, sweatshirt on top of the neon pink, striped, button down, shirt. I had the collars sticking up and out, just so, and the tails of the shirt were sticking out from underneath the sweatshirt. I was hot. Now Dana's striped shirt was a little different and I just had to let her know the difference, because it would mean I would be banished and ridiculed for wearing the same shirt as another 6th grade girl. I proceeded to lift up my rad sweat shirt to show her that my stripes were thinner. "See, my stripes are smaller and a little more pinker," I explained to Dana. I then looked down as I was demonstrating and thought, "Where did the hot pink stripes go?" It was at that moment when I saw them.... two, bare naked, torpedo like niblets jutting out. I immediately pulled my shirt down, and looked around to see if anyone had seen my puberty. Too late. Everyone saw! My male, married teacher turned around laughing. Rude. I saw Glen Butler pointing and laughing with his mouth gaped open. Dana burst into hideous laughter. I turned around, red faced and mortified. I'm still haunted by that event.

At that moment I knew I couldn't run away from my "dilemma" anymore. I also knew that if I had been wearing a training bra, everyone wouldn't have seen my bare naked puberty. Right after school, my mom and I went shopping. And came home with one of these. That is another story, in it's self. My poor mom.


  1. Oh that is hilarious! There is something just almost shameful about puberty. It should be outlawed to be in public as you experience it. Thanks for sharing your story!

  2. You have such a fun life! I didn't get all that stuff til I was 15-gratefully (even boobs)! But back then I thought how horrible it was. Not so! Keep telling your hilarious, wonderful life stories!

  3. Laughing. Rolling, ON the floor. Laughing! Why? We have ALL been there. Oh dear, you poor thing - I would have punched Dana in the face for you. I know all too well about the super bright clothing of Elementary School - I think I wore florescent green shorts, a florescent pink shirt WITH a neon green and hot pink polka dot hat. ON my 12th Birthday. How dark our pasts are! You know what's sad? I think I could still fit in my training bra. *sigh*

    I make a plethora of goodies on Etsy - you'll have to come check it out when my store is up!

  4. Just what are we training them to do??? Stay out of our armpits when we lay flat on our backs.. Well that didn't work then and it certianly doesn't work now either!!

  5. My cup over-floweth now. It's so not fair.

  6. Want to know what's even more traumatic than getting your first training bra when you're 12? Getting it your freshman year of college, when you're 18!!!(And still fitting into it 13 years later!) I WISH my "cup over floweth"! It puts a whole new spin on the phrase "Is your cup half-full or half-empty?"

  7. ROFL!!! Oh my goodness, Jen!!I think we all have those embarrassing puberty moments. Love your story! Love the mullet too! I had one of those myself. Is that what you call the female version of the mullet? What a fun and dorky time period we grew up in :)

  8. You are so FUNNY!!!
    I remember the first bra, except mine was more anticipated by me, rather than my mom. I wanted to get bigger boobies, like everyone else, but I missed that line in heaven. Must have been flirting with my then future husband, Alan.

    I swear I got lucky because in all 'puberty' departments I was a year or two behind everyone else.
    It caught up to me though, and I still wish I was behind.

    You crack me up!!

  9. Awesome. Did you happen to have your different colored-socks on with the parachute pants or was that a couple of years later. I sooo remember those wonderful fashions.

    You poor dear. That STINKS that you pulled your shirt all the way up. Dang that teacher anyway.

    Ahhh, the training bra. Isn't it funny that it is called the "training" bra. By the time you need a bra- it CERTAINLY shouldn't be called the training bra. Must have been named by a man.

  10. Oh. My. Gosh.
    I can't believe it took me THIS long to leave a freakin' comment.
    This was SOOOOOOOOOOO hilarious, Jen! I love your term 'bare naked puberty'!! HA HA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!
    I'm so sorry for your experience.

    It reminded me of a similar story when I was wearing hot pink nylon. Only mine were shorts. I was about 10 at the time.
    I went to the store one day with my sister and we were in a hurry. And I had gas (what else is new?)
    And I let one go... and out comes... more than just gas. But I had no idea since those shorts were so breezy.

    And then my sister starts laughing her head off. And those shorts ARE NOT absorbant.

    I hersey squirted them. In the store. And my sister was laughing so hard and pointing at me that EVERYONE saw. I was mortified.

    Was this too much information?
    Oh well.

  11. Holly,
    Did you kick your sister in the shins?

    Remember my very first flashback Friday? And the very large Native American (politically correct name) Cowboy that I threw up on? In the hallway of my HIGHSCHOOL. In between classes. With lots of people around. Let's just say explosions just didn't come out of my mouth.... I wore a jacket around my waist to the nurses office.

  12. Anonymous7:43 PM

    [b][url=]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] Alves layouts and companies her one-of-a-kind line for your specialty and luxurious hand bag marketplaces making use of very good leather elements and labor intensive hand texturing approaches. Every single bag, hand slice, completed and sewn, demands a 2nd overlay procedure to the remaining artwork application which makes each and every bag exceptional and one-of-a-kind. The pricing of Muxo handbags is both proper and realistic to the shops in addition to their buyers.".

    [b][url=][/url][/b] I do not know how familiar you're, mild reader, with Ny city in winter season, but allow me to explain to you: it is really magical. Snow and sleet make the town ephemeral like it can be staying filmed through gauze when nevertheless retaining all the clarity of eyesight that cold, crisp night time air can bring. People today dissolve into topcoats and hats and, from time to time, umbrellas; faceless but personalized.

    [b][url=]cheap ugg boots[/url][/b] Although making use of steady progress and advancement of lively and design and style, Beam Bar Shades the assortment of objects for virtually any personal to acquire a checklist of high quality, model tasteful and is particularly he like artist sunshine glasses may be very intricate. You can also search alluring in metallic eluxury louis vuitton handbags inside of the 4130 by BodyZone, at BananaShoes. If you have any considerations regarding your own overall health or maybe the well being of your baby, you'll want to normally talk to which has a medical professional and other health care specialist.

    [b][url=]ugg boots uk[/url][/b] Alpha (seven.5-14Hz): Alpha brain waves are present in deep leisure together with the eyes generally shut and although day-dreaming. The relaxed detached recognition reached throughout light meditation is characteristic of Alpha and it is exceptional for programming your thoughts for achievement. Alpha heightens your creativeness, visualization, memory, discovering and focus.

    [b][url=]ugg boots uk[/url][/b] You can download|down load|acquire mp4 motion picture from web and see. Although not just about every time you receive the film of your option. Very often you received the motion picture with really small excellent. I swiftly knew this wasn't the situation. When we entered the calming, dimly lit bar, she really tried to order a "Night Practice Express"--which I uncovered later is naught but Evening Train on Ice topped having a shot of Bacardi 151. Immediately after staying politely knowledgeable which the consume could not be combined for her--because the Hilton Lodge chain wasn't within the practice of stocking Night Train for its bars--ideath jumped up on towards the bar stool and in excess of the counter within an endeavor to bodily strangle the kindly, white-haired previous woman that was tending bar..

  13. Anonymous9:14 PM

    hermes bags[url=]Hermes Belts[/url] carriers Birkin Handbags[url=]hermes replica[/url] obtain


Tell me what you think... only if it compliments me and my, sometimes humorous, sometimes weird, sometimes creative, post! No meanies allowed!