Friday, June 27, 2008

Flashback Friday - Glamor Shots

I'm sorry to say, but while in my freshman year at RICKS College, I fell victim to the enticing promise of having my makeup applied by a "makeup artist", a "professional photographer" that most likely use to work at the Sears Studios take my picture, and have my beauty forever immortalized. And what, may you ask, was this amazing opportunity that I would forever redeem as one of my lowest points in my young adulthood? They were Glamor Shots people.

They weren't the REAL Glamor Shots, but the makeup, soft lighting, and dorky poses were close enough.

These pictures were actually taken on my 19th birthday and I was instructed to go to a HOTEL ROOM, where my makeup would be applied and my picture taken. Sounds creepy huh? Well when I arrived, the room was filled with fellow RICKS College female classmates waiting in line to have gobs of makeup smeared on our faces and to have a chance to look ravishing in front of the camera. It was our supa star!!!!! moment.

I eagerly waited in anticipation to have my "new look" applied. Before I knew it I was sitting in a chair and a young lady was applying eyeshadow, blush, and of course, lipstick. I couldn't wait to see the new me. "I'm going to look so hot," I thought to myself. Then, what seemed like slow motion, the "makeup artist" moved away from the mirror to reveal her "masterpiece".

Gasp! My "new look" took my breath away. My jaw dropped and I became speechless.

"I'm street walker Sally!" I thought to myself. "I look like a ho!" "Could my lips be any brighter?!?!?!"

"So what do you think?" the "makeup artist" asked (makeup artist my butt). "Oh, I love it!" (Always the pleaser) I said. "Um, could you make my lips a little less bright? I'm not use to hot pink?"

The "makeup artist" then blotted my lips with a tissue, leaving tissue remnants, and re-applied a new shade of lipstick. It didn't help. But I didn't want to hurt her feelings and decided to just go along with it.

Then it was my turn! My turn to let the magic happen, baby! The wannabe photographer began yelling instructions to me, "gimme the sexiest look you got! Oh yeah! Perfect! You look amazing!"

When my modeling experience was over, I walked back to my apartment. I didn't dare look anyone in the face, fearing that a "John" would pull over in his Camero and ask me what I charged for a midnight special.

Here are the results of the most glamorous of all glamor shots.....

Check out the lip color! Oh my word! Can you see the stamp on the photo that says "Accepted for Exhibit"? Are you kidding? This picture was going to be shown to other humans? Nooooooooooo!

In this picture, the photographer asked me to give him a "sexy" look. My hubbin would be runnin' for the hills if I gave him this look. Ug, the hair! The hair!

So humiliating. By the time this picture was taken, my eyes were glazed over. What does this picture say? Was I thinking that this was MY moment! Or had the glaring makeup seeped into my blood stream, thus damaging significant brain cells.

These following ladies also fell victim to the alluring promo of Glamor Shots!

Nothing says glamor like a red feathered boa, and black silky gloves!

Work it Georgette! Work it! Georgette was a natural once the cameras were flashing!

Millie surprised her main squeeze, Hal, by glamming it up for him for Valentine's Day. She chose the Sweetheart Backdrop to match her ensemble. Good choice Milly. The hair.... perfectly bouffant and yet, poodle like. The earrings...sparkly and dangly. The eyebrows... shaggy. And to top it off... the sensual pose. This pose says, "come hither, my love." Hal's a lucky man.

Loni relived her Solid Gold days by donning her glistening gold attire. She vows to get back in her gold leotard and perform her signature running splits, AGAIN! We believe in you Loni!

Oh Myrna! Myrna, this pose moves me. It's so demure, yet sublime, as you look upward to the stars. I am touched.


  1. Lovely glamour shots, Jen. I have some scray 'not real' glamor shots of my own. They embarass me TO THIS DAY!
    My favorite part of your Flashback Fridays are the names you give your victims.
    Millie and Myrna??! HA HA HA HA HA

  2. Oh my goodness gracious!! I love it! Now, tell me, is the backdrop for your own glamour shots a baby mattress of some type? You're just keepin' it real, right?

  3. Jennie,

    Yup. It's the pad to the diaper changing table. I do have a scanner, but it's down stairs and I'm too lazy to do all of that work.

  4. love the shts they are too cool!!! I'm sure Steve would love you no matter what you looked like!!

  5. I Loooove your "sexy look". Too funny! I'm so glad that I didn't do glamour shots, though my senior pictures come in a close second (more on that another time). You find the funniest pictures!

  6. Ok!! Please DON'T be mad, I am SOOOO far behind on your blog, Jen! I will catch up soon, I promise!!
    Wonderful pics of you. And as always, You are funny!

  7. Oh. My. He**. You are so funny!!!

    Forgive me I am super duper behind on reading blogs, so I am trying to catch up today, and this just made my week!!!

    I remember begging my mom for "glamour shots", me and my friend Tiffany would stand in front to try and catch a glimps of the next pretty lady getting makeup put on. In fact I am sure Tiffany's mom got glamour shots, I know someone else that did, and they still have a photo of themselves up for all to enjoy. I wish I could reveal whom this is, but sorry to dissapoint I won't.

    Oh and I also love the diaper changing pad...


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