Thursday, April 12, 2012

The good, the bad, and ugly... of my pregnancy

 (baby boy's foot.  Holy crap!  Stop with the cuteness!)
I am currently 30+ weeks pregnant.  Baby boy still does not have a name, but if Homeboy had his way, his name would be Strike.  He also wanted Salsa.  Sadly I had to convince him that his baby brother just doesn't look like a "Salsa".

When I am pregnant, I categorize the incubation period of my babies, by the following three descriptive words:   good, bad, and ugly.

Morning sickness.... bad.
Baby movements, end of morning sickness, more energy, beginning of 2nd trimester... good.
The last two months of my pregnancies... ugly.  So very ugly.

Thus, so begins the last two months of my current pregnancy.  I swell to an unbelievable size and I wear the expression of misery on face, 24/7. 

When I was pregnant with Homey, my brother and his wife decided to get married during my 7th month of pregnancy.  At that point, I had gained 60 freakin pounds, my foot size went from a 5 1/2 to an 8 with plenty of swollen chub lopping over the tops and edges of my shoes, and my doctor was quick to notify me that he had never seen such bad stretch marks on any of his patients.  Ever.  They were so bad, they were bleeding.  I went through a tube of Cortizone 10 every week, due to the itching.   And it was during this ugly period that my brother got married.  My misery was well documented in family picture form, at the Washington D.C. temple and the multitudes of humbling, awe-inspiring, monuments of our beloved capital of the USA.  Never had I experienced so many looks of sympathy from perfect strangers. 

I was a vision of motherly glow.  Not so much.

My pregnancy with Homeboy, was surprisingly, my easiest and best.  He was breach the entire pregnancy and laid across my belly.  No pressure on this bladder!  (pointing to my bladder region)  Considering the child, it's shocking to look back at that pregnancy and reminisce how easy it was.  He was content to just lay in the same place and hardly move.  When he did move, I would giggle with glee!  Despite the ease of that pregnancy, I was still ugly at the end of my pregnancy.  You know, swelling. 

During this time, I was a counselor in the YW's presidency and in my 8th month, our stake attended youth conference at the U of U.  In August.  In sweltering heat.  I walked all over the campus with our girls for two days.  During a fireside meeting I slipped my sandals off and one of the girls happened to see my feet. She freaked.  She offered to call 911.  I told her I was fine and that if she ever considered having a baby before she was to be married, I told her to remember my feet.  Now that is some good birth control!

4D ultrasound of baby boy.  He didn't want to cooperate and was constantly moving, so this was the best picture we could get of him.  The ultra sound tech was shocked at how high he was (in my rib cage) and he was breach, laying across my belly.  My heart and lungs are currently placed in my neck and shoulder area.  It makes it a little difficult to breath and perform simple tasks. 
I'm hoping the dark spot on his noggin is not a Gorbachev (sp?) birthmark and if you look at his chin closely, you may be able to detect ANOTHER BUTT CHIN!  I'm surrounded!  Wenis' and butt chins, everywhere!  NoooOOOOoooooo!!!!

(Apparently, I am pregnant with a frog.  Check out his little frog legs!  And he is definitely a boy.  For obvious reasons.)

Baby boy is very active, enjoys stretching and moving my guts around.  He tends to like the breach position and laying across the very top of my belly.  But it's no surprise if he does a complete somersault every hour or so. 

A few weeks ago I began the ugly swelling, but then it went away for the most part.  My feet would actually jiggle when I walked.  Nice.  I am still able to wear my shoes and I am hoping I don't swell too bad with this pregnancy.  But then again... it is me. 
I resemble a meatball, I hate my maternity jeans and I began to "leak" weeks ago.  I'm tempted to slip a little tp in my bra to help absorb the leakage.   I know, too much information, but I'm sure inquiring minds want to know.  Right?  My mom will be mortified.  I make her proud!

I am anxious to be done with this pregnancy and can't wait to be holding our little frog in my arms.  I know the next two months will go by fast and I have a ton to do (as usual).  My OCD tendencies are raging and I notice every scuff mark, spider web, and speck of dirt.  My poor family is doomed to be my slaves for the next two months!  That is one perk of being pregnant!  The POWER!  Wahhh hahahahahaha!


  1. For a second I wondered what you meant by "leakage". I am glad is milk and nothing else.
    I suggest you take pictures of yourself in your misery so you can use them later to induce in that boy deep feelings of guilt. Every mom has the right to do so.
    I hope these weeks go by swiftly.

  2. June is a great time to have a baby! Just before it gets too hot and a lot of the nasty sicknesses are months away. It will go by fast. I honestly can't wait to meet him!!!

  3. Oh, honey - I SO know! I'm not a cute pregnant chick. My second pregnancy was super easy, too. No sickies or swelling. Well, not as much swelling as before. This third one was for sure my hardest. Super uncomfortable, super ugly, super big and don't even get me started on the two weeks after the little dude was born. EW. I'm still suffering from some of the side effects, but they are starting to subside. It's all worth it when they get here though, right? And Salsa is quite catchy. Did I tell you that my husband and I talked about naming him Jon Bon Jolley? Yeah. I hope we don't regret naming him Cruz instead. Or 'Rex' as my oldest son was hoping...

  4. Oh I feel for you, I truly do! I'm glad it hasn't been TOO hot for you this Spring though. Yeah for staying in the same size shoe! Can't wait to meet him. Hang in there sister!
    Oh, and by leak, I totally thought you meant pee. Ugh.


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