Saturday, August 16, 2008

And Then He Kissed Me! Part 12

A few months after "plumber guy" and I had met, our little relationship blossomed into a honest to goodness, full fledged romance. Our daily encounters usually consisted of talking, gazing into each other's eyes, and kissing. We would repeat this process as often as we could. The weekends, however, were a medley of different kinds of dates. They included anything from dinner and a movie, miniature golfing, concerts, and even slow dancing near a warm fire, under a blanket of stars in the mountains. It really didn't matter to me what we did, just as long as we were together.

The day after the man of my dreams had returned home from his trip to Lake Powell, he invited to me to attend church with him and his family. "This would be the perfect opportunity to impress my future in-laws," I thought to myself.

I decided to wear my red dress with the floral print. It had a scoop neck line, buttoned all the way down the front, and the hem hit the middle of my shins. "Perfect. Not too matronly, yet modest enough to not send the wrong message to his parents," I thought.

"Plumber guy" picked me up at my apartment and we were off to his home turf. I loved seeing him in his crisp and freshly pressed khakis, his dress shirt that accentuated his broad shoulders, and to top it off, a tie that coordinated with his deep forest green shirt. He was a delightful vision!

I was a little nervous because this would be the day that I would meet his fellow ward members. Some of these ward members were like family to him and I not only had to impress his parents, but also knew that I had win the ward members over.

As we entered the church, we made our way through the hallways, stopping here and there for him to introduce me to them. I felt special. I felt honored to be "plumber guy's" girlfriend. After meeting various ward members, the first thing they would comment about was, "Are you two going to get married?" and "Steve is such a great guy! You have such a good guy here!"

No one needed to tell me just how great "plumber guy" was. I knew it. I knew it with out a shadow of a doubt. And as for the marriage comments and questions, "plumber guy" would just down right ignore them or smile and say, " I don't know?"

It was beginning to wear on me a little bit. I knew I wanted to marry him and everyone else knew we were going to get married! But, my beloved boyfriend never talked about it! What was holding him back? I just could not understand what on earth was holding him back from approaching me about becoming his eternal companion. I tried not to let it worry me and I would tell myself that in due time, he would finally tell me that I was for him, forever and ever. But it was impossible. It was always on my mind.

A couple of sessions into church and I left "plumber guy's" side to attend Relief Society with his mother. I sat next to his mother and on the other side, sitting next to me, was a neighbor of his family's. On her lap sat her abnormally large 2 year old son. The abnormally large two year old boy's name was Sean. Now Sean was a bit of a handful and had the actual strength of a 10 year old. Sean was not afraid to use his power against innocent bystanders and at times, during the lesson, Sean would lash out and I became the target of his wrong doings. His mother would turn red with embarrassment and repeatedly offer her condolences, "Sean! No! No! Don't pull of the nice girl's dress! Sean you need to be reverent! Oh, I'm so sorry! Sean! No! I'm so sorry!"

Being the oldest of 6 six kids, I knew how two year olds could be. I would just tell Sean's mother, "It's okay. He's not bugging me." In reality, I was loosing this wrestling match with this precocious two year old. I was getting fed up with him trying to pull my dress off while I tried to maintain a joyful expression, and at the same time sit next to my future mother-in-law.

"Plumber guy's" mother was very soft spoken and kind. She never said anything harsh about anyone or to anyone. However, I found it difficult to have a conversation with her. I felt very intimidated and shy around her, so our conversations usually consisted of pleasant small talk. "Plumber guy" had a very special relationship with his mother and I did not want to look like a fool in front of her. I wanted to show her that I loved her son with all of my heart and soul, and that I could be trusted. I also wanted to be the one to bear her grandchildren with him, but I didn't think that would be an appropriate conversation.

"Um yes, Doris, I have fallen madly, deeply in love with your extremely hotty of a son and I would like to procreate and bear his children." Not a good idea when I was trying to portray the image of a pure, and celestial soul mate for her son.

I was still trying to absorb the lesson, being taught, but was finding that to be difficult, due to Sean. Then it happened. Sean managed to break free from his mother's grasp and performed the swiftest of all wrestling moves on me. He grabbed the sleeve of my dress, and pulled with all of his might. He giggled the most wicked of giggles and threw his large head backwards with uncontrollable laughter. He conquered his fight with me. I was an innocent victim. At that very moment, my future mother-in-law looked over at me and her eyes set directly on my left chestal area. "What's she looking at?" I thought. I followed her eyes with my own eyes to see what exactly caused her to look upon me with such disdain. There it was. My left "cuppeth runneth overeth" bosom exposed. My opponent had managed to unbutton the top 3 buttons on my dress, causing it to fall completely off of my left shoulder. And what made it even worse was the bra that I had chosen to wear that day. It was my sexy, silky, brightly floral print bra. I'm talking turquoise, hot pink, and yellow flowers. It was my favorite bra. It performed it's job to perfection... lifting and separating, as if to scream out, "look at me!"

"Stupid big headed kid!" I thought to myself. "Well so much for the pure, innocent image! "Plumber guy's" mom is going to think I'm a hoochy momma. That I'm a ho! I'm not good enough for her son!" A couple of hours into church, and I somehow managed to expose my chest to the entire ward. I would be the main subject at the ward council meeting in the Bishop's office. "Did you happen to see Steve's girlfriend? And what about that hoochy bra she was wearing!?!?!" I would be shunned from the church building.

I quickly pulled my dress up and buttoned the buttons as fast as I could. I began to sweat profusely and twitch with embarrassment. I couldn't wait to leave and meet up with "plumber guy" again.

After church was over, I waited impatiently for "plumber guy" to arrive to the classroom. He walked up to me and asked, "How was Relief Society?"

"I'll tell you later. Let's get out of here!"

After we got in his car I told him about the whole bra exposing incident. He began to laugh and tried to reassure me that his mom would not think I was a ho. He continued to laugh and explained that he wished that he had been there. He wasn't helping, but he did manage to ease my pain.

I spent the rest of the day at his home and with his family. In the evening we walked around his neighborhood. We walked hand in hand and he told me stories and memories about his youth. It was a lazy Sunday, but a perfect Sunday. Well, except for my "hoochy momma" bra incident. I imagined us doing the same thing, after we were married. I longed for that day.

When we got back to his home we watched t.v. with his family and talked. I could get use to this. As the night went on, various family members slipped away, one by one, to their bedrooms to go to bed. Before we knew it, it was just the two of us, sitting on the family couch. The room was dark with the television screen luminating our surroundings with a soft glow.

I was nestled into the corner of his body, where his strong arm connected to his shoulder. His right arm was embracing me tightly, as if having the intention of keeping me safe and never letting me go. I couldn't tell you what show we were watching, because we would be carried away in blissful episodes of kissing. After one such episode, I forced myself to tear away from his strong embrace to get a drink of water. It had gotten quite warm all of the sudden. I walked to the kitchen and quickly drank the cold water and composed myself.

I entered the family room and as I was about to sit next to "plumber guy" he grabbed my arm and perched me on his lap. We continued to watch the program on the t.v., with his arms cinched around my waist and my head settled on his shoulder. He turned his face towards mine and began to place soft kisses on my cheek and neck. I turned my face to meet his and we kissed. It was one of those kisses that was gentle and sincere.

We then rested our heads together, touching forehead to forehead. An infomercial for a set of 1950's music CD's was playing in the background. For some reason it seemed perfect for the moment. Various 50's hits such as Earth Angel and Goodnight Sweetheart Goodnight, produced a culminating mood.

"Plumber guy" cupped my face in his hands and softly declared, "I love you."

My reaction was unlike what I had often dreamed about, for this momentous moment. I began to cry. And so did he.

I then threw my arms around his neck and replied, in between my sniffles, "I love you too!"

There we were, sitting on his parent's couch, in an interminable embrace, and crying. He had finally declared his love for me and time stood still.


  1. OH!! I just cried, too! That is too bad about the bra thing. But every girl needs a hoochy bra!! Did I just type that?? Oh, yes, I did. And it's true! I love this one and look forward to the next with bated breath!

  2. too funny!! My mom was probably wishing her boobs were as perky as yours or rather maybe that she still had two...She might have been thinking that little varmit!!!! My mother loved you and thought you were perfect for her son!! and you are!!

  3. Dang...I'll comment after my cold shower!!

    Showing the goods to the future MIL, good thinking...

  4. Oooooohhhh! That's so sweet. Love the bra part too!

  5. You always seem to have an incident with the hounds! I was going to say about the same thing Wendy said about my mom. That is funny.

  6. Oh - I have goosebumbs!!! Soo sweet! That is hilarious that you remember the commercial that was playing.

    I don't think I could have gone back with him to his house where his mother was after she was checking out the goods - that would be too embarassing - you're so brave!

  7. p.s. I love your fun new blog background!

  8. Jen, this reads like a NOVEL! I've been procrastinating my workout because of this blog! I hope you saved the bra in your 'things to be remembered' drawer. And I hope 'plumber guy' got a peek of it eventually. Oh, I'm bad. Way bad.

  9. Awwww!! That is SOOOO Sweet!! The "I love you" Part! How romantic is that!!
    Sorry to hear about that whole Bra incident. What a little stinker!

  10. I have goosebumps.... I LOVE YOU....couldn't have been more perfect!!!

    Sorry about the hoochie mama bra incident, I couldn't imagine a more embarassing moment. I bet you and your mother-in-law have laughed about it since.

    BTW my son in the terrible Sean in your story. The almighty two year old that it out to get you.

  11. I am totally crying!!! My eyes are all misty, I am loving reading this whole beautiful story. Awww, it's SO tender! Are you kidding me!?!? What a dreamy tale.

    And we all had those bras, honey - I miss them sometimes! Aren't toddlers the best?


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